To be content in all situations…is that possible?

Tomorrow is my last radiation treatment.  Just typing it on this computer makes tears stream down my face.  Good thing I can type without looking.  Rejoice with me, I beg you!  For the Lord is perfect in His faithfulness.

I was supposed to experience chronic fatigue from these 7 weeks of radiation treatments.  After all, I’ve had the radiation equivalent of 1,168 typical chest X-rays.  But that never happened, and I have been telling anyone who will listen that I am covered in prayer and hedged in by God! 

Tomorrow night, Vern will remove the tape off of my 7 marks.  I’m sure that the big fat blue marker lines (still smiling with that phrase) that the tape protected will take a few weeks to come off completely, but tomorrow is sure to be an emotional day.  I am getting my body back. 

But I have been thinking, what I am I getting it back for?  Will I return to the way I was?  I don’t want to forget where I was and where I am now.  For the Lord has done a mighty work in me.  My Creator has set me free from the bondage of fear and I have learned to love Him deeper than I ever thought possible.  Sweet Jesus, may I never forget.

May I never forget the moment and spot on the road that I was driving on when Dr. Wallner called to say it was cancer. May I never forget how my friends and family flooded me with scriptures that I kept in my pockets those many months. May I never forget that day Dr. Klemow told me I would need chemotherapy.  I was so devastated and heart broken.  So fearful and numb. May I never forget jumping on the bed at 1AM after my first steroid dose. May I never forget Nurse Ida in the infusion clinic who could get me in and out in 2 hours flat. May I never forget the kids cutting off my hair because it was falling out anyway. May I never forget to encourage others in their moments of deepest fear and despair.  There have been so many I have met along the way, and I have become seasoned to recognize that fear and despair even behind the masks people wear.   We were never meant to live that way.

I’ve had the privilege last week of teaching a unit on contentment to our 5^th and 6^th graders at church based on Philippians 4:11b-12: “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”   In those verses, Paul talks about how he has learned to be content.  But it meant nothing to those kids until we read through 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 where Paul lists all the trials he had been through.  Then, the fact that he had learned to be content actually meant something to them.  I’m sure it meant something more to Paul too after he had been through some stuff. 

Jesus, carefully and tenderly showed me how to not live in fear.  He used the diagnosis of cancer to do it.  You may not think that was very caring or tender, but I am here to tell you it was the most caring and tender thing He has ever done for me.  Because now I live the way He intended—content in the circumstances, trusting Him with my ALL.   May I never forget.

Big Fat Blue Marker Part 2

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10-5-12:  Big Fat Blue Marker Part 2

Hey, Guys!  Hope this finds you well. Today, I finished my 6^th week of radiation treatment.  Next week, I will have 5 “boost” treatments and then I am DONE with radiation.  Which is a good thing, because my pink square is now a red square.

So yesterday, my appointment was longer than usual, because they had to draw some new marks on me.  This one is a circle.

So in honor of my new circle drawn in BIG FAT BLUE MARKER on my chest, I thought someone might like to read BIG FAT BLUE MARKER PART 1, which I wrote 3 weeks ago.  Just insert “4 inch diameter circle” wherever you read “12 by 12 inch square”, and that’s pretty much the experience I had with the circle doodling on my chest this week.  Here ya go:

I am three weeks into radiation treatments, and all is going well.  The treatments are done in the building next to mine, and it’s just a quick 30 minutes and I am back to work.  The staff are great, just as exceptional as the oncology clinics upstairs.

Three weeks ago before radiation therapy started, I went into Radiation Oncology to “get my marks”.  You see, in order to line up the machine correctly for radiation treatments, they have to mark your body so that the marks on your body line up with the grid on the machine. 

I had a grand time at that appointment!

You see, growing up, we were always told to be careful with markers because marker doesn’t come off of clothes, or skin or walls or anything else for that matter very well.

And there was the technician with her fat blue marker, drawing on my skin as if she had never been taught that rule.

I busted out laughing at one point, and the technician said, “Oh, I’m sorry, I know this can tickle a bit”.

I told her that I wasn’t laughing because it tickled.  I told her I was laughing because she just drew a 12 INCH BY 12 INCH SQUARE ON MY BODY IN FAT BLUE MARKER.

I smiled broadly at her—because honestly, when am I ever going to have someone draw a 12 INCH BY 12 INCH SQUARE ON MY BODY IN FAT BLUE MARKER again?

It was fabulous, and I’ve been giggling about it ever since.

So I got to thinking about other experiences I have had in my life that still have me giggling.  I hope one will come to your mind today, too.  And if one doesn’t come to mind—well, I recommend that you go draw a 12 INCH BY 12 INCH SQUARE ON YOUR BODY IN FAT BLUE MARKER!  That will fix you right up.